Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How external is "for external use only"?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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