Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Are we still banned from the library?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
