They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
