That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
