apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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