No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
