im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And then he peed in my hair
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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