So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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