Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
