after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
All I want is dick and wine.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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