I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
