sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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