If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
