I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize