I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
