is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
