if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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