I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
