hell yes lets make some ravioli
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
