there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
