Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
