He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
