I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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