his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
