Screwed.edu
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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