i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
