they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
