I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize