well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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