Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
farters have to be the big spoon...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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