i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
