i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Randomize
