you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You made out with two different species that night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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