tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
