I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
