Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
