I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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