I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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