Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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