is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
