it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
