goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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