This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
COCAINE IS GR8
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
