Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
