He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
