it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm both gender and math confused
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
where are my eyebrows?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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