This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My dick has a subreddit
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
