can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
