She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
