Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
